Engaging
by Flutter-Pony
Summary: A series of un-related one-shots about how Will and Emma make proposals.
1. Chapter 1

It will never end. The aching head and the dehydration and the sweat. Ugh, the sweat. She can do nothing but nudge further into the cushion and hope to disappear. It was all the alcohol's fault.

When she groans and flops her arm over the sofa in frustration, Will turns the volume down but keeps humming along with Buble, sweeping a hand over the hair that blocks most of her face.

He chuckles and keeps grading papers. He thinks this is hilarious, the way her red dress is abandoned on the floor, still smelling of vodka, beer and whatever else she had clumsily spilt down herself.

He keeps reciting moments of the night before and running his hands over her bare legs that rest in his lap.

"Do you remember trying to counsel the cab driver last night? You wanted to invite him in and give him a pamphlet" his lop sided grin is full of adoration. She doesn't know whether to tell him to be quiet or never stop talking. She smiles back and thinks the nausea might be easing.

"I had no idea you could shot that much tequila"

"Oh God Will, don't even say that word" the mention makes her flush and gag a little.

"It was incredibly sexy. You're voice got all husky, you kept swaying on your heels and falling all over me…"

They had started the night as the sober chaperones. The Glee Club had won Nationals in spectacular fashion and as promised, Will had bought them celebratory ciders and the mood had been electric.

Emma served slices of pizza and mini burgers and realised that nothing made her happier than seeing how much the kids adored Will, and how much he loved them back. It gave her butterflies and she was happy to blend into the background and witness the song and dance of the evening. But as they began to leave and she was elbow deep in bubbly dish water, Will had come up behind her, kissed her neck with his beer breath and offered to take her dancing. He told her she was the sexiest woman in the world and said she looked to good in that dress to stay in tonight. She agreed because for the first time, she believed him.

Drunk, even in public she was helpless against his touches. She felt relaxed and vibrant all at the same time. She drank more because she felt safe with him, never noticing the dirty dance floor or the masses of twenty-something women pawing Will.

"Ugh, I think I need more Advil" she didn't even attempt to get up, knowing he would. And he did. She would make it up to him later, when the room stopped spinning.

She closes her eyes and hears him saunter to the kitchen. God, even the sound of his walk was perfect.

"Love you," he mumbles and she hears him placing the tablets on the coffee table, then a glass of water. He lifts her feet gently and finds his place again on the sofa, still singing along to the Ipod dock. Its calming background noise for the heaviness of her head.

Taking a breath, she finds the strength to both open her eyes and sit up.

The glass has frosted condensation, beside it, the pills and sitting unassumingly next to them is a ring.

Her mouth falls open and she rubs her tired eyes. It's still there.

She turns to Will and he's looking at her with more focus than she's ever seen. He's nervous. She can tell because his papers have slipped onto the floor and his holding one of her ankles without realising.

"Say something" he swallows but doesn't blink.

She clears her throat. Her eyes are watering and she's not sure why, her body has been quite unreliable today.

"Em?" he coaxes.

"Is that for me?" she says dumbly, looking at it again. He nods.

"Where did you get it?" she's in a daze and he can't tell if that's a good sign.

"It was Grandmother's. It… uh, she passed away after I married Terri. It's not…. It's not Terri's." He winces; this was so not the right time to bring up Terri.

She toys with it on the table. Poking it, as if to make sure it's real. It's old and studded with a row of diamonds and it's beautiful.

"You want to get married?" Now she's nervous but she smiles just a little, the dimples are showing in her cheeks.

"Yes" he breaths out in relief. Suddenly feeling he's not doing the moment justice, he moves her feet and is kneeling in front of her, on instinct she sits up, feeling light headed for a whole new reason.

"Yes, Emma, I want to marry you and spend every Sunday just like this"

"Really? Like this" she quips and old Emma is back and he's gotten his answer before she's said it out loud. She's glowing and laughing softly and brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Maybe not exactly like this. But with you". Then she kisses him and suddenly he's on top of her, feeling her body for the first time since she had fumbled with his buttons and playfully bitten his next in a drunken slur 12 hours earlier.

"Yes" she whispers and runs her fingers through his hair, studying his face.

"How long have you been waiting to ask?"

"The night Glee won Regionals. I made a bet with Finn and Puck that if they won Nationals I had to make you my girl"

"I'm already your girl"

"Well, now you're my girl with a diamond ring" he croons, slipping it on her finger. "You want the Advil now?"

"Na"

He rubs circles softly on her back, feeling the sticky sweat.

"Sorry I picked today to ask. I should have waited"

"No it was… perfect, just like that" she pauses, closing her eyes again.

"If it was perfect you wouldn't be dry heaving"

"I was perfect enough Will. Now can you please pass me the Advil?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to everyone who read and especially those who reviewed. Sorry for the typos, I'm a bit lazy like that.

She slammed the door shut behind them. Emma never slammed anything, but it was her apartment too damn it, she could do what she wanted.

"Will, you're being ridiculous!" she yelled. Their voices had started out flat, hushed even, when she got into the car and let him drive her home from McKinley. Ten miles later after a series of eye-rolls and teeth grittings, they had arrived with a screaming match.

"No, it's ridiculous that you think it's okay to rendezvous with Ken Tanaka behind my back!"

They'd never seen this side of each other, never really imagined it. She stood straight with both hands on her hips and his brow was red and wrinkled in rage.

"He's a friend, he's going through a rough time. I'm a counsellor"

"He's not your friend, he's your ex and he's in love with you!"

Will had seen the way Tanaka leaned in to every word she said. He was taking the long way to the supply closet during an impromptu spare lesson, like he always did to catch a glimpse of her sitting behind that huge desk looking professional with a face full of empathy.

Ken was smiling and nodding; Emma was naively unaware of his nervous fidgeting. She was talking with her hands and flicking through pamphlets with those huge doe eyes. She'd never know how irresistible they were.

"Nothing happened. Nothing is ever going to happen with Ken. I only ever wanted you!" She yelled so loud it made her head spin.

"You were going to marry him…"

"You were married to Terri for years, Will. Years! And I sat around like a sick puppy waiting for you. So, do not stand here and make me feel bad for wanting to help Ken. I left him, for you! I broke his heart. You have no idea how bad that makes me feel"

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming to see you?"

"Because I knew you'd over-react. You get tense every time anyone mentions his name, I can feel it when I stand next to you"

Silence. She had a point and he had nothing to counter it with.

Eventually he shuffled to the kitchen and leaned over the sink with a glass of water.

"I'm going out for a while" she said softly, sounding dejected.

"Wait. I'm sorry. I handled this badly, it just makes me insane to think that Ken almost… and Carl-"

"Don't bring Carl into this!" just like that, her voice raised again. They'd been over this. They'd talked about it in her office at school, in his bed late at night, in hers and in the one they now shared.

"You were married, Em. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him" he looked at the ground, knowing he had said all the wrong things but unable to stop.

"And you with Terri. But we're both standing here together now fighting about it" she didn't move closer to him but she didn't run either. She had to listen to him, hear him out. As her lover she owed him that.

"It's not enough! I want to be more than Carl, I want to marry you. I want you to pick me!"

"Just- Leave me alone." There was a look on her face he'd ever seen. Her lips were pressed so tightly together, even her nose was twitching. She slammed the door again when she left.

He laid on the couch in the dark, sporadically twisting his whole body in frustration as the room span. The whole idiotic conversation played out in his head and every time, he almost gagged at his own words.

He'd never been the jealous type until he met her. Sure, he noticed other men looking at Terri, sometimes flirting, but his wife had never been bothered by it, in fact she seemed flattered by the attention.

From the first day with Emma, when she walked with an orange pencil skirt through the corridors, he saw the way men looked at her, intrigued by her quirky compulsions and hungry for her perfectly petite body. Of course she was oblivious, always looking to her feet when he whispered to her about her shiny hair and perfect skin.

He didn't chase after her when she left. She wasn't a damsel. She was fierce and intelligent with a wit that couldn't be beaten, if she wanted to be alone, he would give her that. But he'd always want to keep her for himself, it was primal.

Her key turned in the lock some three hours later. He knew better than to ask where she'd been.

The lights flicked on at her touch, she pulled out a chair from beneath the breakfast table and motioned for him to do the same. She looked him in the eye that was a good sign.

"I should have told you about Ken, I'm sorry."

"No Em-"

"Let me finish. I should have told you. But I don't like thinking about how much I hurt him and how heartbroken I was back then. I'm happy now Will, really happy and I thought that was obvious"

It was. She got more beautiful everyday. She laughed when he threw her on the bed, sang in the shower and begged him to join her.

"I'm a jerk" she tilted her head to the side and grinned at him. "God, it sounds tacky, but you're my whole world and it makes me a bit hysterical sometimes"

"You're forgiven" she said, still smiling.

More silence, this time lighter. He ran a finger gently over her forearm and she rested her head again the table, watching him, looking at him with pure adoration.

When he felt calm enough, he cleared his throat.

"About that other thing. I was serious, I want to marry you"

She kept her eyes on him and replied in hushed tones.

"I know you were. But you can't ask me in the middle of an argument just because you're jealous. How would I explain that to my parents?" she jokes lightly, feeling tired under the weight of the days conversations.

"When should I ask you?"

"Maybe in the morning"

"You mean after I carry you to the bedroom and ravish you all night long?" he laughed a husky laugh and lazily moved his arm to embrace her.

"Yes. Maybe then"


	3. Chapter 3

For Gleekout87 – Thanks for the constructive criticism. Ask and you shall receive.

The sunset over the school-yard was deceiving. The way the yellow beams bounced off the concrete steps and green grass made it appear warm, even welcoming, but Emma was shivering.

She sat with her arms in her lap and let the wind hit her face, it was freezing, but it made her feel freer than she had in months.

He offered her his coat for the second time and again she silently refused. She could feel his eyes on her, full of concern. He was impatient for her to say something. If she spoke he would know the words to soothe her, he could make her laugh with a stupid joke about Figgins. But she was hard to read in silence.

Before he knew to stop himself, he reached for one of her hands and she let him hold it, still perched in her lap.

The football team were arriving for practise, he could make out Finn grimacing against the cold, his childlike stance made Will smile, and when he did so did she.

Throwing his fears of spooking her to the wind, he spoke, still watching the teenagers run laps of the field.

"If you need anything… I'm always a phone call away…"

"Thanks Will. I feel good actually, it's strange, now that it's over, I look back and it wasn't that hard"

"I'll keep some soy milk in the fridge just in case"

She looked him in the eye and his face never failed to amaze her, so steady and caring and patient. Despite being the quicker option, the annulment had taken seven weeks to process and countless awkward, stuffy phone calls with Carl about paperwork and evidence and why she couldn't love him back.

She had gone to Will's office the day she moved out and sat in the chair adjacent to his desk. She spoke with a clear, strong voice, confident in her decision. Will, in all his grace, had nodded and patted her shoulder and never once let her know that the thought of being with her again made him shake with anticipation. She already knew, it went unspoken for months between them.

Today it was over and the divorcee sat together with the newly single as Friday afternoon turned into night.

"Will, can I ask you something?"

He nodded and ran his thumb soothingly over the palm of her hand.

"Do you think you'd ever get married again?"

"In a heartbeat" his answer surprised her. His divorce had been long and fragile and left him aching financially and emotionally.

"Even after Terri? You'd risk everything again?"

"Yes, even after Terri… and Carl" and with that the conversation floated to where they have desperately avoided for over a year. The possibilities were tempting and terrifying, and yet as two single people, who loved each other, they were entitled to it, so he continued.

"I'd do it right the second time, take it slow, let myself get excited and stressed about venues and flowers and building a whole new life"

"Yeah, slow is good…"

"I mean, I'd have a long engagement. I'd like to keep it between us, I mean the other person, not like a secret, just to keep the pressure off. And when the time is right, maybe in a few years we'd call up our parents and a few friends and get married. That's how I'd do it the second time"

"….Summer…" she whispered and he looked at her curiously.

"I'd like to get married outdoors in Summer…" she shook, this time more violently at the thought of warmth and he removed his jacket, draping it and his arms over her, silencing an impending protest.

Holding her close he could smell the peppermint of her hair, he studied the sparkly studded bow in her left ear as once again she looked out ahead.

She mumbled something under her breath so softly he asked her to repeat it. She just smiled and shook her head, blushing in embarrassment.

He placed a long, warm and gentle kiss on her earlobe and begged her to repeat herself.

"Marry me, Will" she turned to him again, biting her lip and feeling the implications of a conversation that was both far too soon and long overdue.

"That's what I thought you said" he laughed.

"I'm serious. I know it's completely crazy, but I'm so in love with you and you're it. And one day, years from now I want to be Mrs. Schuester"

He smirked and admired the way his jacket enveloped her while she had that determined look in her eye.

"I don't want a ring or an announcement, just promise me that one day, before we're old that you'll be my husband"

"Yes" he said simply, with the slightest tear in his eye.

She took a deep breath and looked out to see Beiste deep in conversation with her team. "Thank you". It was an odd thing to say but she was grateful to him for so much.

"So what happens now?" he bantered, feeling light and a little giddy.

"Is the soy milk offer still open?"

"Of course" he said before leaning in and speaking just for her "Anything for you, Mrs. Schuester" not because it was a secret but because one day, when time was on their side, they would tell the world.


	4. Chapter 4

This is a continuation of the last chapter for Val because she asked nicely. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed for the lovely feedback.

It was so warm and toasty when she stepped into the apartment. Smiling at the thermostat with it's needle up high, she sat her bags neatly in the hallway and stepped into the living room, where Will was leaning over the piano, sweating through his grey t-shirt.

"I told you, you don't need to keep the heating on just for me, I'll just wear more layers inside". She leaned against the doorframe and waited for him to stand and meet her.

It was a compromise they had been working on for over a year since Will brought over his piano and guitar and moved in for good. Emma was always cold, he joked it was because she was a delicate Ginger, she playfully slapped his chest and said it was just a chill in her blood.

He always made sure the temperature was perfect for her and she always arrived home to his flushed, heated features, turned the thermostat off and put on another cardigan. It was a never-ending cycle of who could sacrifice the most and apparently Will was winning.

"Look your face is all red" she reached out to touch his cheek as he stood before her finally. Ignoring her concern he grabbed her waist with his hands and her lips with his own. It had been a long week without her. It might have been shorter, but she'd insisted on driving to Virginia to visit her parents, instead of flying.

He kissed her neck and began untying the belt of her red trench coat, she leaned harder on the doorframe for support and tried to clear her throat between gentle gasps.

"Wait, I need-" his fingers were fluttering up her thigh, so slowly because he knew it drove her crazy, she always melted in his hands.

"God, I missed you" she could feel the vibrations of his voice on her chest and feel his lips smiling.

"Will. Stop for a minute" she grabbed fistfuls of his hair and slowly moved his face, making distance between them.

His dopey, lazy smile made her smirk. His whole body was enveloping her while they stood but at least while their faces were inches apart, they could hold a conversation he would listen to.

"Hi" she whispered, suddenly shy of his gaze.

"Hey" he blinked back.

"I did some shopping in Columbus on the way home. I bought a dress"

"… That's great Em" his voice was gravely and a little confused.

"I mean, it's a dress I think I could get married in" she waited for his response while she bit her lip.

The smile took up his whole face. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" she laughed. "I want to show it to you"

He kissed her forehead and led her, by the hand to the kitchen, temporarily changing his priorities and filling two glasses with water.

"You can't show me, it's against the rules" he said before a big gulp, while she toyed with the brim of her own glass.

"Will, this is the second marriage for both of us, I think we already broke the rules"

"Just describe it to me"

"Okay, well. It's ivory and-"

"Sounds perfect!"

"Will! You're not listening!" she scrunched her lips in exasperation.

"Emma, I love everything you wear. I would even marry you in that big Princess Diana meringue thing, but it has to be a surprise" he was touching her again, fingers on her hip trying to distract her, she had no choice but to resign.

"Fine…" he guided her to sit on the counter and felt her arms around the back of his neck. She kissed him, feeling needy, this time it was he who pulled back.

"I talked to Figgins while you were gone. He said we can have a few extra days off over Fourth of July weekend. So, I was thinking we could tell my parents to meet us in Virginia… and you could put on that dress…"

"Do you think the Glee kids could make it all the way to Virginia?" They'd agreed months ago that, when the day came, the kids would be there. After all, they had all but carried Will through his divorce and Emma's marriage and he wanted to thank them.

"Rachel's already made an itinerary for everyone" he chuckled and moved to sit beside her, his legs dangling with hers.

"You've told them?" she was surprised, they'd never made any concrete plans.

"Sorry, I went a little crazy while you were gone, I needed a project to keep me distracted" he said a little sheepishly.

"So, what else have you been organising?" she twisted the hem of her skirt, mischievously.

"I got your Dad's permission, phoned him up while you were at brunch with your Mom" he looked bashful and her eyes gleamed at his nerves.

"So" he continued, taking her hand "my fiancé, now that we have our affairs in order, I'd like to take you ring shopping"

"No, Will it has to be a surprise…" she cracked, mimicking their earlier conversation.

"But, what if I don't get it right?" he looked genuinely concerned, he'd never had to make such a delicate decision.

She leaned down and left a peck on the tip of his nose.

"I trust you"

"You shouldn't, I might come back with one of those plastic pacifier rings by accident"

"Will" she said firmly, placing a hand on each of his cheeks "I love you, just do you're best. And if you really freaking out, I'm sure Rachel would love to help" she took his hand and squeezed it.

"I can't wait to marry you" he whispered.

"Me neither. Now go…and turn off the thermostat on your way out"


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing, my hard drive is so happy to be free of these little chapters._

Sue affected Will. Bothered him. Not that he'd ever admit it but Emma knew underneath every shrug and eye roll, her words were biting at his every insecurity. Sometimes he came home with a grunt and headed with heavy feet to the shower. Emma would wait patiently on the end of their bed, ready for him to walk out of the steaming bathroom, hot and bothered. She'd lay down with him and kiss his temple and sweetly breathed in his ear, telling him how perfect he was.

"Those kids idolize you…I love the way you make my coffee in the morning…Your sleep talking makes me laugh so hard… Your curls are the sexiest thing I've ever seen".

In return he traced shapes on her lower back and let his eyes get heavy.

Last night had been especially bad. The Cheerios had won Nationals again and Sue had celebrated by giving back. She'd donated the New Directions performance costumes to orphans in Mongolia, she'd sent them there herself. Will was furious, the Glee Club had worked so hard to raise the money and Emma had spent countless weekends bent over a sewing machine, and now they had nothing and the competition was less than two weeks away.

Emma could feel the tension radiate off him when Sue strutted into the Faculty Lounge, she gripped his hand, admiring the way she could calm him with a single touch. She coaxed him to ignore her with a subtle batter of her eyelids and kept talking to Shannon who had just joined them at the table.

He was doing well.

"So Beiste, I hear you have a hot date this weekend" Emma fell in love with him even more.

"Ah, a lady never tells," replied Shannon, with a twinkle of anticipation in her eyes.

"Hey there Schuester, Elsie… you" Oh God, Sue was on the prowl. It was going to be another one of those days.

"What do you want Sue?" Emma spat back, feeling uncharacteristically fierce this morning.

"Actually, I got you a gift" Emma rolled her eyes as Will squinted, not liking where this was going.

"You see, I got a call last night from the crack team of retired CIA agents I've hired to follow your permed poodle of a man".

"Sue-" Will was I no mood for her nonsense this morning, his voice was tight.

"Uh-uh, Schuester, I'm doing you a favour. See, my Intelligence led my acquire this…"

Sue reached in her pocket, producing a velvety deep blue box. Will's mouth hung open.

"…No…" was all he could manage.

"Oh yes, Will. Your jeweller was more than willing to surrender this pitiful excuse for an engagement ring once I showed some surveillance of him I had doctored back at the lab".

Emma was glass eyed and speechless. Beiste shifted her glance between Sue and her tablemates to her feet, trying to escape the conversation.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Raggedy-Ann will accept your offer to spit in the face of all that is sacred and actually marry you".

Emma blinked. Was this really happening? Was Sue proposing to her on Will's behalf?

Sue took a breath and Emma grimaced, afraid to think what might be coming next.

"I took the liberty of buying you two tickets to the frigid, baron plains of Chernobyl. Rumour has it the drinking water there is putrid enough to make you infertile and it's my duty, as a honourable member of the United States Congress, to make sure that you two do not start a race a miniature mentally-ill clones of Ronald McDonald".

Sue flicked the ring across the table where Will's glance fell on it and wouldn't move.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a sculptor. The state of Ohio is immortalising me in bronze" and then she was gone.

"Wow" Shannon breathed out. "Uh, do you two need a minute?"

"No, stay" croaked Will.

"….Will…" Emma bit her lip and stared wide eyed at him.

"Surprise…" he said lamely, smiling in that crooked way.

"Yeah" she chuckled and looked around the room. The rest of the staff seemed unaware that Sue had just dropped a bomb on their table.

"I'm sorry Sue ruined it" he looked straight at her, still holding her hand under the table. "I was going to give it to you on your birthday".

"I can vouch for that" Beiste interrupted. "He's been plotting it for weeks".

Will smiled apologetically, shaking his head.

"I don't 'spose you want to pretend this never happened and act surprised at your birthday dinner?"

She shook her head.

"Can I see it?" He nodded permission and she examined the box before opening it, smiling cheekily to herself. "Can I tell you guys a secret?"

They nodded. Nothing could shock them after the confrontation they'd just had.

"Last month I was picking up some industrial strength bleach from the hardware store and I saw you two in the jeweller's across the street"

Again they stared open mouthed.

"And you didn't say anything?" Will was bewildered.

"Of course not! I know you'd want to ask me your own way, you're a hopeless romantic Will, that's one of the reasons I love you so much" she spoke matter-of-factly.

He mocked offence and she leered at him wide-eyed.

"She's right Schuester, you're hopeless alright. You know Emma, Will kissed me once. He just wants to love everybody!" Beiste laughed in that endearing husky way.

"Huh, he never told me that" Emma chortled playfully.

"I guess you don't know everything then Miss Pillsbury" he bantered at her.

The three of them basked in the glow of the strangely wonderful morning. When the alarm rang out for third period and Beiste picked up her protein shake and left, Will stilled Emma, pulling her gently closer to him.

"You haven't given me an answer yet" he whispered. She went to speak and he hushed her with his finger. "Ssshh. Don't. Tonight I'm going to take you out and I'm going to get down on one knee and do it right…. Sorry she ruined it."

"Hey" she spoke honestly and firmly. "Nothing could ruin this. I mean it, I wouldn't change a thing."

"Em, let me"

"Okay. And after you cause a hugely embarrassing public scene, you can tell me all about your kiss with Shannon."

He kissed the top of her head as he stood up to leave.

"See you tonight" he grinned suggestively and left her to contemplate morning that had just happened and the nighttime that was to come.


	6. Chapter 6

_This is a continuation of the last chapter, for Greens (Happy Birthday!). I just re-read the previous chapters and the typos are appalling. If anyone out there is taking beta requests, I'm in need of so much help. Thanks again for reading and reviewing with such gusto._

Will had made reservations for 7.30 and cancelled them at 7.25 when Emma still hadn't come out of her office. It sometimes happened, 'guidance emergencies' she called them, the phrase sounded adorable in her southern accent.

In reality, they were the sickest part of her job. The cases there were no pamphlets for. The students came to her in fear, as a last resort and they would tell her the unimaginable. Neglectful parents, violent lovers, self-hatred. And because it was her job and because she cared, Emma would listen and hold back her own tears until there was nothing left to say. Sometimes, like tonight, it took hours.

The first time it happened Will had taken her home, boiled the kettle and waited for her to fall apart. Instead she bit her lip, put on her latex gloves and scrubbed every inch of the kitchen pantry, then stacked the cans in alphabetical order. Will had literally begged her to open up; she had raised her voice and asked to be left alone. Of course the apologies on both sides had been sincere and never ending, but the 'guidance emergency' became a constant dread.

At 8 she squirted more sanitizer on to her hands as the student left, and Will poked his head and a Chinese take out bag through the door.

"Sorry" she stood up to greet him, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

"Want to tell me about it?" he whispered cautiously.

She shook her head and looked at her shoes. He placed the food neatly on her desk and pulled her close with two hands on the back of her rib cage, her head falling with ease on his chest where she could feel him breathing.

He began to sway with her in his arms, not dancing just shifting his feet a little and she followed his lead by raising her arms around his neck.

"Hungry?" he mused in her ear.

She shook her head again and he felt her eyes shut.

"Em…" he prevailed to make her say something.

"Just talk to me for a while, I need to hear your voice"

He kept gently rocking.

"Ok, I've got a story for you…"

She laughed in her throat and he felt it against his chest.

"A while ago, before we were dating... I was having a rough time with the Glee kids…"

"Where was I?"

"You were mixing grapes with Captain Colgate" he said dryly.

"Will…" she softly berated "be nice"

"Do you want to hear this story or not?"

"Sorry" he kissed the top of her head and continued.

"Anyway, I didn't handle it very well with the kids and Shannon got caught in the middle and I felt horrible…."

"So you kissed her?" Emma was really giggling now.

"It wasn't like that. I just wanted her to know what a wonderful women she was" he was sincere.

"Is that why you kissed me the first time, the sneak attack?" she smiled at the memory and poked at the buttons on his vest.

"No, I did that because I was crazy in love with you and you were leaving"

She looked up and admired him, his warmth, his strength.

"I'm so in love with you," she whispered soberly. In reply he kissed her lips then her forehead and tightened his embrace.

"Let's go home" she mewed. It had been the longest day.

"No way, I haven't got to make my big proposal yet"

"Will. You already know the answer" They stopped moving but stayed touching, limbs and torsos.

"Emma, I've told you. I want to do this properly" his face was serious.

"…okay" she sighed playfully and moved back to lean against her desk, preparing for Will to lower his knee.

"Well, I'd planned on having an audience…" he was sheepish. Her dark, familiar office was not ideally romantic. "I've got it!" he almost yelled and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the room and down the corridor before she could protest.

Of course Brad was in the choir room like Will knew he would be, looking forlorn and disinterested, but since Figgins cut the janitorial staff Brad would be their only audience.

They were out of breath and Emma was still giggling when they reached the piano man, who continued to fiddle lightly with the ivory keys after looking up.

"Hey Brad" Will was shouting in excitement. "I need you to watch me propose… you don't have to say anything, just sit there and look happy to see us" He didn't look happy, but Brad looked at him and then that kooky red head and then rolled his eyes but neither noticed.

Emma had her hand on her heart before he'd even said a word.

He took the ring out of his pocket and knelt down, she couldn't stop laughing and thought she might cry too.

"Emma, you're the most adorable, caring, beautiful, amazing person I have ever met and I want you forever…Marry me…. Please?"

She nodded and sobbed "yes, of course!" and Will stood to kiss her long and hard before sliding the infamous ring on her shaking finger.

Brad clapped slowly three times but grinned somewhat genuinely.

Will couldn't stop fidgeting and smiling that crooked smile that made his eyes twinkle, so she grabbed his face in her hands and took a deep breath through dimpled cheeks and looked in his eyes until his breathing slowed.

"I just proposed to you at McKinley…" he smirked.

"Yeah, you did" her expression matched his.

"And you said yes…" he brushed the rogue strand of hair off her face.

"Well, it wasn't my first offer for the day but I gave you extra points for improvising the audience". He started swaying again and this time they danced to the clumsy keys of Brad who was just trying to tune the damn piano.


	7. Chapter 7

_For __maplesfan76, I hope this satisfies, it was a little challenging to write. _

She couldn't let go of his hand, so he tried in vain to use chopsticks one handed.

They came to the little Thai place because it was clean, mostly diary free and because they had to talk.

Will was leaving tomorrow and it made Emma nervous. He'd been offered a summer job tutoring an excelled music program in San Francisco, an opportunity too good to pass up and she was happy for him. Really. But now she was on the eve of being without him for a whole month while she spent her vacation at McKinley redesigning procedure booklets and probably scrubbing the walls for good measure.

Her grip on his palm was getting tighter.

"Em, it's just a month,"

"I know, I'm being silly" she was bashful. It was pathetic how much she needed him.

"How about we talk about something else?" he brightened "like, the future".

They had planned this conversation after countless promises and whispered declarations of love that began all those months back in the corridor outside Figgin's office. As mature adults, each with a failed marriage behind them, they had agreed to set romance aside and communicate with maturity and clarity.

"Okay" Emma looked him in the eye and ran a finger over his knuckles. "Let's talk about it. Marriage". She smiled a little, feeling self-conscious.

"Yes. I want that" Will spoke firmly and honestly.

"Me too"

"I don't really know what else we're supposed to talk about…"

"Well, um. I think we have to make sure we want the same things and make sure that we're both, you know, comfortable compromising…this is so not sexy" her lips twisted as she tried to think of what to say.

"You're right…"

"So we both want to get married. Be married?"

"Yeah"

"And we both want to stay in Lima?"

"Yeah… and we both want a family?" he encouraged.

She blushed and nodded. The thought of having children with Will was wonderful and overwhelming and something she'd secretly imagined for years.

"So that's it!" she crooned. "Let's get married!"

The night was beautiful. They walked home and window-shopped at bridal boutiques and she held his hand and leaned her head of his shoulder.

The next morning she re-arranged his luggage even though he told her not too and then he left and she let a tear fall on her drive to McKinley.

She sanitized the table twice and sat with Shannon at lunch. Her carrots were unappetizing something smelt off but she smiled and nodded and tried not to check her phone.

"You look a little pasty Emma, everything alright?"

"…. Yes…." She choked before passing out with her head in the salad.

Nine minutes later Shannon was feeling her forehead with those huge, caring hands.

Emma rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine. I didn't get much sleep last night is all"

"You know, Pillsbury, I think you're just love sick for Schuester"

Emma smirked and didn't deny it, her face lighting up at the sound of her ring tone.

"Hey!" Emma's smile was huge and made Beiste laugh.

"Are you okay?" his voice was hoarse.

"Of course" she soothed. "How's California?"

"Beiste called me. You fainted!" he sounded edgy, even a little panicked.

Emma looked straight at her friend who was not so discretely listening in.

"… Will, it's nothing. I'm tired and I miss you… really"

"Maybe you should go home, it's only a faculty day right?"

"Maybe you should stop worrying about me and worry about inspiring those kids…"

"…. Just look after yourself… please?" he spoke softly and it made her stomach flutter.

"I will. I love you, I better get back to work" she sighed, closed her eyes and wished irrationally that he was with her.

"You too… bye"

She hung up and saw Shannon's hangdog expression.

"He'd kick my butt if I didn't call him you know?" Beiste said dryly.

"Shannon?... I'm-going-to-faint-"

This time when Emma woke up there were paramedics and Figgin's, and Sue was spouting something about natural selection and eradicating gingers.

She pleaded not to be taken to hospital but Figgin's said it was policy and she didn't have enough energy to argue with him.

She called Will from the hospital when the nurse wasn't looking and hung up when it got to voice mail.

She tried again just after they drew blood, trying not to look at the hole in he arm.

After two more hours of waiting in a room that felt like an asylum, it reached his machine again.

"Will…. Call me when you're not busy, I miss you…"

They discharged her, ironically with a handful of pamphlets and left her to change back into civilian clothes that felt dirty.

She needed Will. She could catch a cab home and take a shower but after that, she didn't know what to do. She called him another time and cursed when he didn't answer.

"Emma?" she was buckling her shoes when she heard and then saw him charge into the room. He was white with a raspy voice.

"Hi…" she smiled with relief and moved from the edge of the bed to the centre of the room where he snatched her body into his fiercely.

"I tried calling you-"

"Shannon called me again. I jumped on the first flight… I was so worried"

"…It's fine. Don't panic.." she soothed into his neck.

"It isn't! Don't you dare brush this off!" he forced her to took at him and spoke slowly. "Did they tell you anything?"

She nodded and felt her eyes water and his face looked pained.

"I think we should go home… where it's private" he was making her tenser than she needed to be and the hospital room wasn't helping.

"What is it?" he whispered pulling her closer still and trying to read her face.

"Sit down" she said but he froze. "Will. Sit. Down." She said it again and when he obeyed she joined him.

"They ran some tests and I have to come back tomorrow because I'm pregnant… and I forgot to eat breakfast so I fainted …and I forgot to notice that I was late… and they said I might be already two months along…maybe even more…and I just can't believe I didn't notice….so, I think we should go home and get some sleep and then you should go back to California and stop worrying…okay?" she bit her lip and then chewed it and then took both his hands in her. They were cold. "Say something now".

He lifted her hands and kissed her knuckles, she smiled. Then he kissed her on the mouth slowly.

"There is no way I'm going back to California" he whispered leaning into her ear.

"Will…" she countered but he ignored her argument.

"I don't ever want to leave you again. I just can't imagine how I ever managed without you" he smiled a dopey smile and she touched his cheek.

"Let's go home and argue about this later" she spoke coyly.

"You just want another excuse do my laundry and re-organize my luggage" he simpered and she kissed him because he was a little bit right.


	8. Chapter 8

Someone was at the door. It was Will, she knew that. But just in case it was an axe murderer fumbling with the key at the lock, she sat up and tiptoed to the door.

She heard his key hit the floor and an aggravated grunt. He must be drunk.

She opened the door in her pyjamas and he was leaning heavily on the door frame with bloodshot eyes.

"Emma!" her name was a clumsy song off his lips and he did that smile that made her so grateful to be alive.

"Shhh, you'll wake the neighbours" she whispered ushering him through the door and retrieving his keys. She was locking the door behind them and already his hands her all over her and his lips were hot and heavy on her neck.

"You had fun?" she asked turning in his arms to face him.

"Hmmm…" he purred, closing his eyes and relaxing his stance.

"Oh Will" she giggled softly. "You're waisted. Go to bed, I'll get you some water". He wouldn't let her go. He wanted so badly to carry her to the bed but his head was a haze. So instead he led her by the hand and she resigned, falling with him on the sheets before struggling to remove his shoes.

"My college buddies wanted to know about you…"

"Oh?" she said coyly, throwing his socks into the laundry basket.

"Yeah… they wanted to know if you were like Terri…" he slurred and she waited for him to continue. He sat up momentarily to pull her down again. She was laying flat and he covered her with and arm and a leg and spoke into her ear.

"I told them that you're perfect and you have red hair and that I want to marry you…" he had a hand under her shirt, feeling the detail of her belly button.

"…marry me?" he collapsed his face into her neck.

"Will, you already asked me. Last night remember? At dinner with my parents and my Dad said he'd kill you if you ever hurt me. Remember?" She was looking at the ceiling. She didn't know whether to laugh at him or comfort him or even if he was still awake. "We're getting married" she mused through a smile.

His hands were moving upwards, both of them and slowly, to save the buttons he lifted the flannel shirt over her head. He was awake after all, and his whole body covered her with lazy weight.

"I didn't tell them about that face" he kissed her collarbone, he knew it made her crazy.

"What face?" she sighed. Stilling trying to get up, he would need water soon.

"That face…" he spoke slowly and hushed "that you make when I'm inside you… and how you moan and I have to listen so hard to hear it…"

She gave up when his warm hand snuck into her panties and she gasped. He was biting her neck hard and she would be so mad in the morning.

"Oh God…Will" she wanted to rip of his jeans and feel him. But his hands were everywhere, pinning her to the mattress and teasing her.

"…I want to see that face" he was looking right at her and his breath was full of beer and she didn't care. His fingers were strong and unpredictable and she threw her head back. "There…" he sounded cocky. Her mouth was open so he kissed her roughly and loved the way she breathed afterwards. Jagged.

When she calmed she flipped them over, ran her hand down his chest and kissed him.

"I'm not the only one with a face you know…" she mewed in his ear and stood up naked, he watched her from the bed. "I'm going to get you some water so you don't hate yourself in the morning and when I get back, I'm going to make say my name over and over again" he was smiling with lust when she walked away and fast asleep when she came back, throwing his arm over half his face, like a toddler. Only his sleep smile was showing. She made a note to remember him like this, because it was her favorite of his faces.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: This is a continuation of chapter 7, though I'm hoping it stands alright on it's own. As always thanks so much for reading and I look forward to some feedback.

She's tiny when she sleeps. Bundles herself in blankets that cover her face, chin resting in the crook of her own elbow, shielding away dreamtime demons.

The first night they shared a bed he had lay awake with the butterflies in his stomach while she slumbered in her cacoon. He asked her how she could breath under there. She just sighed, closed her eyes tighter and wriggled her whole body closer to his.

Tonight, slumbering on the sofa with the TV on mute, she is even smaller. He runs his hand over what he assumes is her hip under a patchwork quilt. It's been a long month.

He hears her sigh and stir and remembers the husky exhaustion in her voice every night when she promised she was feeling fine and refused to answer his questions about morning sickness and multi-vitamins.

"… I fell asleep" she blinks, shifts her head to rest on the arm of the sofa.

"You look pale Em" the thought slips out of his mouth before he can stop himself.

She rolls her eyes and sits up facing him. He looks so tense with his jaw clenched, his weary hand reaching out to touch her cheek. If she lets herself agree with him the night will be ruined. His brow will furrow and his voice will grow earily hushed like it does when he's choking back tears. If she tells him that she's spent every morning and night heaving in the bathroom, that she's too tired from nausea to shower after work, he'll fall apart. So she smiles.

"You look exhausted Will"

He grins back and nods just a little. She lifts his chin up with her hand and kisses that dimple in his chin that will always make him hers.

Her arms are around his neck, they are thinner than before but strong enough to pull him onto the couch.

"…Wait…" he whispers pulling away. "I got you something to make it official"

The box is blue and velvet and is wrapped in a silk ribbon. She stares at it then glares at him.

"We talked about this. I don't need-"

"Just open it"

It jingles when she does. A silver plated baby rattle sits neatly on the tiny silk pillow and brings a tear to her eye.

"I figure it was a worthwhile investment. It'll be the little Peanut's first instrument" he's looking at her with that crooked smile that's just a little bit cocky.

"I picked up this while I was there. I know you said it wasn't important to you, but it is to me".

He plucks the white gold ring from his shirt pocket while he watches her face. Though it's no surprise, he wants to see the moment in her features.

"It's perfect" she muses softly and he swears the diamond is reflecting off her eyes. She's crying.

"…Em…" suddenly he's beside her and she's the one crumbling.

"Ugh… I don't know why I'm crying. I must be hormonal, I just missed you so much!"

Like he always does, he kisses the top of her head and her breathing slows when he rubs misshapen circles on her back.

"Better?"

She nods into his neck and he runs his hand over the length on her legs now splayed over his lap.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he speaks into her hair and it tickles her head. "Last week in the hotel I watched 'My Fair Lady' and cried like a baby"

She sniffles and laughs at the image. "Why?"

"I missed you and I'm nervous as hell about having a baby…. and Beiste called me, said you were running to the bathroom every five minutes"

"Will-" she straightens to look him in the eye.

"Emma, you've lost weight. You look sick" he says evenly.

"What do you want me to say? That all I ever do is sleep? That I can't stop myself from ralphing? I'm getting through it Will, even though it's disgusting and awful because you and this tiny little baby need me. So just… stop… and let me get through it!" her lips twitched in frustration, her hair is in her eyes but she's not looking at him anyway. "I'm going to be sick…". The door slams on the bathroom, it's not locked but he knows better than to open it, instead taking a seat on the floor beside it.

"Sorry" he chokes. "I … it's just terrifying… not being able to do anything. I need you so bad and I can't even breathe when I think about you in pain. Just tell me what I can do…"

Silence. She's listening, not being violently ill.

"Water"

What?"

"I'd like a glass of water please"

He puts ice in it for good measure and places the glass between them as together, they lean against the cool bathroom wall tiles.

"Thank you" she says grabbing his hand in hers and toying with his fingers.

"So, do you think the little Peanut would like it if I ran you both a bubble bath and put on a little Nora Jones?" his words were light.

"I think he would like that very much"

She leans against him in the warm water and he's surprised the feel the slightest bump on his child, running his hands over it slowly, again and again. They didn't talk about dresses and weddings and vowels because there would be time for that later when their baby could breath the same air as them and beg for their undivided attention with it's cries. Instead they pondered the little person until the bubbles went flat.

She wondered would he play drums or bass? He preyed she would have her Bambi eyes instead of his butt chin.

She fell asleep soon after again in her tunnel of blankets and for the first time in a month, he did too knowing he was doing all he could for his lover and their little Peanut.


	10. Chapter 10

The whole room beamed a glorious shade of yellow when she re-entered the bedroom freshly showered and smiling at the butterflies in her stomach.

The sun was shining directly into Will's eyes but he wouldn't wake up. He slept heavily, she was learning, every limb had such a deliberate weight.

And Emma longed to feel it.

For three months they had shared a bed and so much more. The closeness didn't come naturally to her, after a lifetime of sanitary solitude. She fretted over every flaw, avoiding his gaze and sometimes pausing in panic. The second time, he was a little buzzed off pinot and she was completely inebriated by his fingers trailing down her neck.

"Oh my God, you're so hot…"

She froze on the sofa cushion, stared at the lint on the shoulder of his sweater.

"…Hey…" he coaxed, catching her eye.

She couldn't articulate her thoughts. She couldn't tell him that 'hot' was too far. That she'd trick herself in to believing that she was pretty or desirable and she could even stop doubting that Will loved her, but 'hot'… it was a lie he told.

"Emma you're so damn sexy….". He must have felt her relax because put his hands all over her, slowly and firmly until she was hypnotised once again.

She grapped her purse from the night stand where it sat on a frantic bed of her scribblings from the night before when they were making lists for Nationals. It started as costumes.

_Taffeta _

_Shoe polish_

_Nail polish?_

It ended in a whirlwind of Emma's inked swirls and shadings on the edge of the paper as she listened to another of Will's stories about how much his parents loved her.

He could have told her anything, she would have listened and nodded along like a lovesick puppy, sketching hearts onto the paper and ruining the perfect order she had intended. Emma knew it was a timely phase, that this hazy, giddy, weightless feeling of being besotted would change. That she wouldn't wake up every morning almost frantic with love.

One day it would change into something else and that was the best part. Change with Will was exciting and calming, it was how she got to know him better, the little details that he didn't even realised. She had started a mental list.

_He forgets to put cologne on when he's nervous_.

"Don't go…." His voice was muffled in the pillow. He reached out for her waste and found it, pulling her towards him with a squeal and a giggle. She didn't even realise she was standing so close to him.

"'Morning…" he still had sleep in his eyes as he caressed her hip.

"…Stay…"

"We had a deal, remember? It's my turn to cook breakfast"

"Staying in bed will be more fun" he was angling her neck gently with words and his hand. She was never quite sure how he could make her move.

"… I'll be 10 minutes and then I'm making you Emma Pillsbury's world famous chocolate chip Pancakes" she kissed his forehead. "So don't go anywhere".

It was a warning that she followed up with a note on the kitchen counter next to the milk chocolate, knowing he wouldn't be able to help himself.

_Do not eat me! _

When she arrived with a grocery bag in her hand, she forgot all about the weight of the flour that had made her muscles ache.

He was a vision, in sweat pants and those messy curls that he kept forgetting to get trimmed. But the look on his face… she couldn't place it.

"Hi…" she whispered across the kitchen, feeling shy all over again.

He looked flustered and maybe cold at the same time.

"Will, are you alright?" she asked feeling her voice raise an octave.

Still looking like a deer caught in headlights, he walked to her, stiffly until her body was leaning between the counter and that body of his, her most prized possession.

"Let me look at you…." At last he smiled. Emma breathed. His finger touched her check, glided over her nose, forcing her eyes to flutter.

"I missed you" she almost whispered, feeling foolish.

"I saw your note…" he told her, holding up the paper with pink daisies that was a birthday gift from her parents years ago. Her handwriting, messier than she would have liked but still uninspiring. Yet Will's hand was a little shaky.

She watched him, waiting for an answer to the riddle.

He moved closer and turned the paper over in one slow but deliberate movement. Then it was all there for her to see. In blue ball point surrounded by love hearts and other undecipherable shapes, with curling letters of the alphabet, in a neat row.

_Mrs Emma Schuester._

Last week when she doodled it absently, Emma had surprised herself. But Will was on the phone in her ear, he had been for hours and it was so lovely. And her fingers needed a way to release all the energy that was beaming out…. And no one would know. Will would never find out. She'd scrunch the paper up and throw it out when she was done.

Only she'd gotten distracted by his laugh that night, and found the paper with a foggy mind this morning.

She was red in the face, she just knew it.

"Oh… that… it's…." she needed to explain but his eyes we watching her lips and she knew his wasn't really listening.

"Soon" he said.

She took a breath. She thought he mind be holing his own.

"Will you don't-" his finger was on her lip just like all those years ago in the corridor of McKinley.

"Soon" he repeated and she watched as he pulled back and simpered around the kitchen, expertly sneaking chocolate pieces into mouth.

Emma sighed and smiled yet again to herself, maybe change was the best part for him too.


	11. Chapter 11

He watched her from the other end of the table, all day the sun had illuminated her, like a halo of gold. Everyone had been watching her, how could they not? With that smile and that laugh, she was perfect, but then, she always had been.

It was dark out now, through the windows he could only see stars… and Emma. His Emma. She caught his eye and smirked. She adjusted her dress and he wish she wouldn't because everything was just right.

She turned away, not captivated by him anymore.

It was now or never.

He stood up quickly, too quickly. His stomach was empty but for the two glasses of champagne he'd skulled nervously at breakfast.

"Go on…" someone encouraged in the background. It could have been Emma, but he knew it wasn't.

"Ah, thank you", the whole room snapped to attention, there must have been more than 100 of them. James Pillsbury wiped his brow and cleared his throat.

"Thanks for coming today, all of you. I know it means a lot to Emma and William that you could make it". There was a chorus of shouting from the back table, those kids that Emma doted on.

He watched his new son-in-law smile with pride, gently leaning into bump shoulders with Emma, who bit her lip and stared ahead.

They'd agreed last night he wouldn't make a speech, "Just enjoy the day, Daddy" his daughter had said, in flannel pyjamas, patting his hand. And he'd agreed it was best to keep his mouth shut.

But he just couldn't. Not since this morning when he'd walked into the spare bedroom and seen Will polishing his shoes with shaking hands.

"I thought you'd still be sleeping off all that tequila from last night", James had stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Couldn't sleep. Besides Em will never get over it if there's muddy shoes in the photos" he laughed even know they both knew it wasn't a joke.

"... She really loves you…"

"I know James, but I think you need to know something…", Will stopped cleaning and relaxed his hands.

"What's that?"

"I love her more… more than she could possibly love me…and she'll never even know it. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make her happy, you have my word".

Will was listening to his words now as the long day was falling into a blissful night.

His daughter nodded, all kinds of sparkly things glittered from her hair. 'It's okay' she mouthed, taking her husband's hand, she sat back a little bit in her chair.

"When Emma was born, her mother and I knew right away that she was special. I mean… you should have seen her… she must have been about five, she would put on her mother's rubber gloves and try and clean the dirt out of the flower beds… we thought the dog was digging up the yard until we saw her one afternoon with a bucket trying to clean each rose petal". Hushed laughter swooped the room, he watched Emma flush and Will pull her closer. God, she was all grown up.

"Our Emma has always tried to help other people, that's why she's so good at her job. When she was growing up she used to care too much and for a long time we worried", his voice broke, damn, why did it have to do that?

But he had just worried so much. He worried when they first visited her in Lima and she spent all her time at work and the only calls she got were from some Glee Club Director who wanted to rope her into chaperoning.

He worried a few summers back when she turned up of their doorstep with tear stained cheeks looking under fed not wanting to talk about it.

And then there was the day she'd emailed from Vegas and James had replied with a bellow down the phone line, even though he'd never raised his voice at her before.

"Married? How could you? … Who is this 'Carl'? Look, I know you've been down lately but Emma, marriage! I mean that's…. this isn't right!"

"…I'm sorry you feel that way Daddy…"

"Don't give me that psycho babble speech. You're too special to run off and marry some stranger-"

"He's not a stranger!"

"He is to us and I think deep down you know that! If this was someone you'd really want to spend the rest of your life with, you would have told us… and you wouldn't be in Vegas right now Emma, that's not you!"

He sucked in breath. Emma was so many wonderful things, but she was complicated, she always would be.

James raised his voice again to fight through threatening tears, adjusting his tie that match her dress perfectly, just the way she had planned.

"…We first met Will at Christmas time, the poor kid was so nervous he barely said a thing for three days. I told Emma she should take him to the ER and get his head checked" he chuckled under his breath and looked up in time to see Emma kiss Will's temple.

"You're a good man Will… and I know I promised never to repeat this, but we're among friends here" James felt himself smirk and saw the colour drain from Will who sat stiffly now with Emma and her confused smile.

"About a year ago, Anne and I got a knock on the door late one night, and there's Will bent over, sweat all over himself and all out of breath. Well you can imagine, it was quite a shock!".

James remembered standing stunned and still. It must have been close to 3 am.

"Are you alright Will? Come inside"

"I can't stay. My car ran out of gas on the freeway, I was hoping you had a jerry can and some gas?" he gasped in-between breaths.

"….You drove all the way from Ohio to borrow some gas?"

"No, actually, I came because I want your permission to propose to Emma. And I have to make it back to Lima by first period tomorrow… my freshman have a test" he was still breathing heavily, but James notices the light in his eyes.

"Emma doesn't know you're here?"

He shook his head. "She thinks I'm teaching a continued education class in the next town over".

"So.. You drove all night to get here?... what's the hurry?"

"…She's ready. I've been waiting…. Forever but I didn't want to spook her after…. Everything… but she's ready. This morning she was pouring my coffee and she said 'if we get married she might have to keep her last name so the labels our mugs don't get confused at work'…. And she didn't mean to say it… but she did. I'm going to ask her tomorrow... Well today I guess. I'm going to ask her today!". He was euphoric and James had to take a breath and blink to keep up.

"I'll make you a deal Schuester. You have my permission…"

"Thank-"

"I'm not done. You have my permission, of course you do, but you are not driving across the country tonight and get yourself killed on the freeway in that pathetic clunker of yours. You'll stay here tonight" James was impressed by his own assertiveness.

"…But-"

"Tell Emma… oh I don't know… tell her you've got food poisoning… God knows she won't want to be anywhere near you then".

As Will heard the end of a story he already knew so well in his head, he applauded James, his father in law and confidant.

Emma gasped and Will heard it loud in his ear and because he was her husband now, and this was there best day together so far, he cupped her face and kissed her. Her hands on his chest made him stop.

She'd deny it later, but Will knew she never suspected a thing. In fact he remembered the phone call he made from her childhood living room and the way she'd begged him to come home, nausea be damned, 'I don't care if you're vomiting, let me come get you' she'd pleaded 'I know how you get when you're sick', while James stifled a knowing laugh from the sofa.

He'd gotten down on one knee in the park three days later, and of course her parents were the first to congratulate them at the other end of the line.

"… They do some crazy things these two, but they always do it because they care about their work, about their families and especially about each other. So, I ask you to raise a glass to the bride and groom… and I personally want to thank you Will, you make our Emma so happy".


	12. Chapter 12

_Hi Readers, _

_This chapter is rated M. I didn't want to change the rating of the whole series, so consider this your parental guidance warning. This chapter is a little darker and not my usual fluff fest, but I'd love some feedback. _

_FP. _

"Can you come over?" he cracks through the phone, and she thinks it must be his mother.

That was the same broken, heavy tone he reserved for angst filled conversations about Elizabeth Schuester and why she needed six nightcaps to fall asleep. Once, he punched a wall just thinking about it. A few times more he had cried on Emma's shoulder, because it wasn't fair, because she was his mother and she spent most Sunday mornings heaving over the sink.

Emma throws the car keys in her bag and makes a mental note to text Ben. She won't be making their dinner date tonight.

Her head reels, she clings to the steering wheel with white knuckles. _Please don't let her be dead, or dying. _Dying would be worse. Then she'd have to watch his heart break.Thinking of Will in that much pain steals her breath and there is no telling what she might do to make him better.

At the door, she bites her lip and finds the key that she hasn't used in six months since they broke up.

"_I told you, I don't mind"_

"_Then why can't you look at me, Will?"_

"…_Because I'm scared you're going to run"_

"_I'm just… not ready for marriage… and you are. I can't give that to you… But I love you…I just can't do that again…"_

"…_I just don't get it…Em"_

"… _I think, maybe, I need to be on my own for a while. I don't want to be married"_

"_I'll take it back then, the ring, everything"_

"_It's too late Will…"_

"_So, you are running? You're done? It doesn't matter what I want?"_

"_You're not being fair!"_

"_Emma… just go. If you want to leave, I'm not stopping you"_

She only cried for the first time the next Monday, explaining it to Shannon over grapes and protein shakes. It was almost artful, the way she wiped her tears away from his gaze at the other end of the room. And she did her best to ignore him back.

The lock clicks, he hasn't changed it. Charlotte has that key too, he gave one to her just last week and on hearing the news Emma lay awake at night, committing her long, shiny dark hair to memory. Charlotte was his life now. She saw them in the parking lot sometimes, holding hands.

But Charlotte wasn't here, and that's why Emma couldn't hate her. Even if she was prettier, sexier and waiting for a proposal.

"Will"

He's leaning against the kitchen sink where he used to insist on doing the washing up. And it's dark, too dark.

"Will" she says his name again. He turns and his face looks hot, _Oh Gosh, please don't cry._

"Thanks for being here" he whispers, and before she can stop herself, her bag is at her feet with a clunk and she's facing him, just inches away.

"Can we not talk? Just for a while" his eyes look at her and she can see all the lines in his face that she's been missing. She nods, he smiles with gratitude.

"Are you okay?" she says after a few short seconds, because she can't help herself, but then there is his hand. She remembers it lovingly on her hip or cupping her cheek or twisting strands of her hair when she laid in his lap on a Saturday afternoon. Gosh, she loves those hands.

It's on her breast. Her gaze flickers from his face and back again and his lips are tight. His eyes are hooded.

His finger finds the rim of her bra, with gentle pressure and it all comes flooding back, the things he would do.

The chirp on the ground startles them both. It's just her phone, its just Ben, she knows it. Will knows it too but now both his hands are on her. She belongs to him. Not Ben with some passive aggressive text that she deserves but won't read. She doesn't need Ben. She needs to help Will, to have his hands all over her.

She focuses on the man before her again and it happens so quietly, she wonders if it's real, but he's lifting her cardigan over her head because he was never any good at buttons and now both of his hands unclasping her bra.

Since their first night together, she was shocked by his gruff obsession with her chest. During the day he was a perfect gentle man. But at home, in the shower, tumbling in his sheets, he loved her naked, and hence, Emma did too.

It's on the floor now, her bra. She looks over herself and blushes. Surely he's thinking about it too, that gasping sound she used to make when he kissed and licked and sucked, sometimes it would last for hours, their naked rhythm.

Will's thumbs graze her nipples, his mouth is hanging open and she's arching forward Her palm lean flat on his chest. Her head is spinning. A light comes on.

A light. It's just outside, it's just the neighbour's glow through the window, but it illuminates the truth, that she's standing, almost bare in Will's kitchen. Will who until 20 minutes ago was a memory but now he needs her, he asked for her, even though he should have deleted her number.

"Wait…talk to me"

"I just need you, I'm sorry"

"I'm here… tell me what happened"

"I woke up this morning, and you weren't there…"

"Will…is it your mother?" She knew it was grief, it has hollowed out his cheeks.

He shook his head firmly "It's you". She gulped and let him explain.

"You're dating that guy, and God, every time I see him in the faculty lounge I want to kill him… and I'm with Charlotte and I woke up and all of a sudden we were both moving on… but we're us. You and me. Aren't we meant to be together?" his arms rest on her hips, they're so warm and strong.

She nods, then changes her mind with words, "We've tried".

"I'm leaving Charlotte, and you're going to stop seeing _him_"

"Nothing's changed"

"Exactly"

"I can't marry you, Will and all the times I try to explain why, you get that look, and I can see it killing you". His jaw clenched. "See there it is"

"You're wrong. I get it. Because last week I went out and I bought a ring for Charlotte and I would have married her, but every time I look at her or touch her, I still wish it was you. And it wouldn't matter that she was my wife, it would mean nothing… if I could have you, I wouldn't let any ring get in the way. I love you more…. Than it even makes sense"

She feels his forehead pressed against hers. The sweat makes her body tingle.

"We're going to live together and I'm going to make love to you all over this house. I'm going to fuck you too because only I know how to make you feel good, not like that other guy." She bites her lip and blinks too much. This side of him is frantic, makes him charge into conversations, or mini tirade, she knew it well.

"You'll get pregnant, because that time last winter, when you were late, I know you wanted it. And we'll grow old together because I can't live like this. It's not fair to Charlotte and it sure as hell isn't fair to us…".

It's just the moonlight out the window now, he sees for the first time the mess of raindrops in her hair, even though he never heard the rain. Her mouth is quivering.

"Em, I'm sorry… I didn't want to frighten you. I only want you to be happy…" he tucks her hair behind her ear, because before he fell in love with her body, he noticed that hair and imagined what it felt like to touch late at night, with Terri sleeping restlessly at his side.

"You make me happy", her quiver stills but her voice is loaded with tears and admission.

"I know that…"

"Come to bed" she whispers, and he sees her chest rise and fall.

He'll follow her lead. And in the morning he'll make tea and dry toast to soothe her anxiety, but she won't falter. She'll call Ben and when he get back from his conversation with Charlotte, she'll squeeze his hand and kiss his ear.

It won't be a fairytale. Good and evil are too jumbled for that, but on idle Tuesdays she'll straddle his lap and run her fingers through his hair, because they can't help be together.


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you so much for the detailed and honest reviews from MissFantabulous, Sierra-Jae and Ma1teo of my last chapter._

_Again this one is rated M, and its probably as close to smut as I've ever gotten. _

_Enjoy and please review. FP._

_Also has very, very mild spoilers for season 3._

She liked the feel of lace on her skin; she had learnt to love it.

It was light and delicate and she often wondered why she'd never worn it before Will.

Emma looked herself over in the mirror one last time, sighing at the bags under eyes that were ever growing. The lace though, was red and beautiful. The bra showed just enough cleavage and the panties didn't ask to be adjusted every spare moment.

Will would love it, and that was exactly her plan.

She heard him unlock the front door, making his way to the bedroom with heavy steps. It had been a hellish week for both of them, only made worse by the sickening feeling Emma got every time she walked by Shelby Corcoran in the hall, who always smiled back with a confidence Emma just knew was genuine.

She sat ready, crossing her legs at the edge of the mattress.

Of course, Will had explained more times than he needed too, what happened with Shelby all those years ago. He always followed up his tale by kissing her hands or giving her that look that made her melt. Will loved her, and she felt it. But it didn't mean that life wasn't busy and full of paperwork and teenagers and biting insecurities.

Of course, she loved Will back. More than anything, so she took a deep breath and when he walked in to their bedroom, she did her best smouldering look. It was a surprise seduction, a thank you, an 'I-love-you-even-though-this-week-I've-been-too-stressed-to-really-show-it'.

"…Hi!". It worked. The shock was all over his face when he dropped his briefcase to the floor.

She stood up and smirked when his eyes raked over her, from head to toe. He gulped. She kissed him, hard and she closed her eyes and felt him moving her backwards to the bed. He was always quick to take advantage of these moments.

"What's all this for?" he said between breaths. But she wouldn't answer him; it was her turn to be the seductress. She flipped them over, or he let her, knowing where this was going.

The buttons on his shirt were easy and as soon as it was gone she started on his belt, moving her straddle lower down his body.

She might never get used to seeing him naked. It was so thrilling to see that loving face connected with that glorious body, the two were so perfect in different ways; it played on her mind most nights.

But he propped himself up on the mattress, with those long legs outstretched and waited patiently for her to fold all his everything in a neat pile at the base of the bed.

He was aroused and it made her smile. She loved it more than she could ever imagine, seeing him so obviously respond being with her.

His toes wriggled a little. Yes, he was definitely ready.

"Leave it," he whispered when she turned for the light switch. "Leave it on". But they never did that. They made love sometimes when the sun beamed through the living room window and once at the faculty lounge, but mostly this is how it happened. In the sweet darkness, where she could fall into his touches and beg for more.

"I want to see you," he continued.

"You've seen me… and I want to be able to feel you without…"

"Without what?... Em, you look amazing"

"Will, I just feel better in the dark"

He stood up despite what might have been buzzing between his legs, and Emma felt herself sigh again. The last thing she wanted tonight was a pep talk. This was about him, all of it.

When he was facing her, there was a kiss on her lips. He was pensive for a slit second before taking her hand. "Come here", he said evenly, leading them to the full-length mirror in the bathroom that he never paid much attention to.

"Will" she started to complain, but she knew how stubborn he could be, even when his voice was already deepened with desire.

"Look" he say, his hands firmly on each of her shoulders as he stood behind her, staring at her reflection in the eye. "You're beautiful".

"…Okay, you win, let's go back to bed", but his eyes were steely.

"Those eyes", he whispered, moving his hands lower and gently kissing the skin they left behind. "I've never seen anything like them".

For a moment, she thought it was over. The breathed together. But, then he moved lot lips against, over her ear. "And you're so sexy…"

"…Will…" she turned to him, needing to feel his tongue against hers.

"Uh-ah, look at yourself" he asserted, his fingers sliding the red straps off her shoulders. She did.

He unhooked her bra with his usual ease, and slid it over her arms and hands. "Do you see what I see?" he spoke so close to her ear, controlling her and then her arms were being guided forward until her hands were clasping the side of the mirror and they were gripping it hard because Will was palming her chest and all at the same time, she could feel him, grinding, softly, but grinding still, at her back.

She couldn't answer him, he didn't need her to.

"These, God Emma, I dream about them". She didn't doubt it. Just last week she'd woken up panting, with him latched onto one breast and kneading the other relentlessly. He sucked until she groaned and shook and sighed.

She watched him cupping them, marked with the red pressure of his fingerprint.

Her head felt light… and heavy and it found his naked shoulder.

"Don't you dare close your eyes", his voice was rough, but so Will. Emma caught his eye in the mirror. His face and that smirk, his hands had such weight.

They pressed against her skin and she leaned forward without thinking.

Those hands were edging at the pant of her panties, lowering them.

"You know every male at that school watches you walk down the hall. They want to know what this feels like. What it's like to run your hands over Emma Pillsbury's perfect ass…. Hell, I'm sure most of the girls are thinking it too". Oh God, it was all so warm, her knees were weak.

"But I get to see you… and I get so excited thinking about how I can spread your legs… and come inside you". He slipped a finger inside her and she had no idea when he had moved that hand, but she could see it, right there, his hand fidgeting and twisted.

"I get so hard". And she could feel it. He leaned forward with her, one arm holding himself against the mirror, but other still teased her.

"You make me so hard" His face was again bleeding kisses onto her shoulder. She had to have more. More than his fingers. She told him in sighs and swivels of her pelvis.

"And your so… tight" he granted her wish, so much. He moved and the weight was magnificent.

He started to lose his composure then. Even breathing became bated sighs. She watched his kiss her shoulder. She felt him graze her neck with his teeth. Emma whimpered. He owned her.

"You're so sexy… I want to hear you say it" his voice sounded like sweat and gravel, but she ignored him, instead working with his pace.

"Say it Em!" he said with a thrust.

"I'm sexy…" she gasped, admiring the way they worked together in such a frantic way.

"And you know what the best part is?" he had the voice of a devil. An irresistible, heavenly devil, pushing harder and harder still into her.

"Even when you turn the light of I can't still hear all those little things you mumble…"

"Do you know Emma? Do you know what you said last week, when you were riding me?" he nibbled on her ear and that was it. "You say the most adorable things"

He kept thrusting as a million feeling exploded and the only thing she wanted was for it to happen all over again.

Will wasn't done, as she caught her breath, she watched him get taken over by the feelings her body gave him. "When you come, you say 'Marry me'". It came as a groan and more heat between them and maybe this time, the words would be really heard, unlike all the blissfully shy times before.


	14. Chapter 14

The maids were pottering happily down the corridor as the sun came up a little earlier than expected. With morning light, her eyes blinked open, amazed at how clear everything looked on the outside. It was the most beautiful hotel suite, with Will's shirt draped perfectly over a mahogany desk chair. Emma never in her wildest dreams expected something so extravagant. Will was a man of sweeping action and romantic gestures, tiny details be damned. But the peach towel on the floor complimented the cream curtains perfectly and she knew he'd focused all his adorable passion into this one weekend. This weekend in Tennessee was his everything.

The wind swooped out of her, her pulsed buzzed in her mind. She had ruined it all.

"I've got a surprise for you" he had said, strutting into her office just before lunch on Tuesday. "You're always saying how you miss the sunshine in the south". It wasn't entirely true, she mentioned it once or twice last summer on their picnic dates, when idle conversation was everything and they hadn't learnt each other's bodies yet.

"Well, I'm sweeping you away to Nashville for the weekend and I'm not going to share you with anyone". He had looked so smug and proud and it was contagious. He was like a child, carrying his suitcase down from the attic with a grin that wouldn't budge.

She can feel him stir at her back. Strong and heavy and hot, she wished he would stay asleep today. Will didn't need to see her like this, he didn't deserve it.

The medication worked, better than they ever could have imagined. Germs weren't the first things she saw every morning, she scrubbed the bathroom until it was clean, not until her fingers bled.

But just as Dr. Shane had warned, without the mysophobia there was nothing to hide behind, and Emma was left alone to face the world with all her flaws for everyone to see.

She took a deep breath, desperately wishing for the energy to turn over on the pillow and face him. It was useless, of course.

She felt his hand sneak around and grab hers, holding it still. He knew today was a write off too. Emma hated herself.

"Here" Brittany had said late Friday afternoon, skipping into her office with her usual weightlessness, "I bought some popcorn for the elves who made your ring. I know they're not supposed to get paid, but I just feel so bad for them, it must take forever to shine those diamonds".

Emma's mouth had hung open, more at Brittany's logic than the notion of Will's impending romantic proposal. Of course he wanted to marry her, she'd known it for years, since she'd shuffled into the choir room in her Princess Di dress in a fit of nerves and had seen the glimmer in his eye.

She went home that night, ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him all over.

He moved the hair ever so gently off the back of her neck and pressed his lips against her skin. Her eyes watered. He's endlessly patient. She adds that to the mental list of reasons she'll never be enough for him.

_His endless patience._

_His flawless dancing._

_His relentless enthusiasm._

Her eyes prickled with tears. He was so handsome last night when the candles were lighting his face. Nervously fidgeting with the cufflinks she had bought him last birthday.

"I'm so glad we're here" he had said with a smile she'd never seen before. It glowed. And then it fell on her like a dark cloud. He didn't see her rogue red curls bounding out of control in the heat. He didn't seem to mind the crease that sat in his shirt despite her insistence on ironing it and taking far too long. He didn't see the weakness written all over her.

But one day he would.

Emma dazed her way through dinner, performing her best confidence but it was all beginning to build. Fear, anxiety, biting, aching insecurity.

He stopped patting down his breast pocket and never reached for the box inside they both new was there.

Back at the hotel she said "I love you" and rolled away from him, praying for some clarity or stillness in her mind, but it was all too hard.

These frantic moments always passed, quicker now with the help of Dr. Shane, but the guilt of putting Will, her innocent hero through it all…. again, embedded a new layer of guilt and the sleepless thoughts bounced around her mind all night long.

What if the kids didn't take Nationals this year?

What if they lost their jobs in the recession?

What if Terri comes back and fights for Will?

What if she forgets to pay the insurance and the house burns down?

She knew how insane she was, and yet the self-awareness was futile. She was ruining what should have been the best day of his life with her petty craziness.

What if she wasn't enough for him? How could she be? She wasn't even enough for herself today.

"I know you're awake" he whispered. Oh Gosh, he sounded tired and flat, she had made that happen.

She couldn't whisper back. Everything inside her was tight and there was no way of undoing it. The only thing that moved were tears and even they were torturously show.

"I thought it might be too much" he scooted closer to her and for once she was thankful he was clothed. Skin on skin would surely make her fall apart.

"But I just got carried away. Em, sometimes I just… I just want to prove that I can give you things. It's so stupid….".

And with that, she added more to her mental list.

_His ability to speak his mind._

He was innately vocal, she'd known that from the start. It's what made him just a great teacher, he could find words for everything and anything. He would come home after a long day of Sue's taunts and launch into a tirade of anger, pinpointing exactly what grated him. "… And then she has the nerve to out Santana in front the entire cheer squad. It's disrespectful!". It made soothing him easier. A hand through his hair, a playful laugh at his bemusement, a scratch on his back.

It made their own arguments heated too, something Emma would be forever learning to respond to. "You have to talk to me! Do you know how small I feel when I hear from Shannon that you ran off the to hospital on your lunch break because some junior put gum underneath your desk?"

He rubbed shapes over her abdomen even though surely he's never felt a knot this big in his stomach.

"Are you scared? Is that it?" his voice cracked, she could feel his breath against her ear.

Emma nodded, then sniffled. She was his polar opposite, words always eluding her right when she needed them.

"Of me?"

"No!" at last she found one, all heavy with sleeplessness. She hadn't been scared of him since he confronted her with unwashed blueberries a year ago. But she was terrified none-the-less, that he would give her everything, like he continually promised and that she would never be able to repay him. After all, what did she have to offer him except self-doubt and panic?

"…You never have to fight alone Em. Okay? … Forget the ring and the rest of it. That's all I wanted to tell you. That I'm not going anywhere".

If she didn't know that he was actually a terrible cook despite his own assertions otherwise, she'd swear he was perfect.

"I'm going to get better, Will. I promise. I want to give you things too", spoke into the pillow and sighed when she heard a bird chirp at the window.

"You know what I really want from you? …Apart from letting me marry you?"

She held her breath and bit her lip, already committing to it blindly, praying to God she won't fail.

"Fall in love with yourself, Emma. I want to wake up with you and not have to worry that you don't know…. how strong you are. I worry so much sometimes, I think I can't breathe".

She squeezed his hand, holding on tight because they would need to. Maybe they were just two frantic worriers against the world.


	15. Chapter 15

_Thank you so much for all the lovely messages and reviews. They made me smile really big and dopey._

_This chapter has very mild spoilers for 'Asian F' more as a reference than spoilers. _

"What is it Rachel? I didn't think it was possible but you even more… passionate than usual". The teenager sat upright in the opposite chair, she'd marched in with almost military precision. A blustering wind that Emma needed to calm.

"I don't think I want to do the show" she blurted and yet still held perfect vocal projection.

"But, it's the lead Rachel and it's your senior year. You said it yourself, you were born to play Maria". Emma countered with softness. She'd learnt in the past that she'd have to lead Rachel to the solutions gently, with small words and discrete pamphlets.

"Well, I was wrong. It just all feels hopeless. And the rehearsal schedule is clashing with my other extra curricular. Did you hear I'm running for senior class President?", the guidance councillor winced. Everyone had heard, especially Kurt who'd only just left her office holding back tears. It pained her to see the kids all torn apart, it was upsetting Will too, and it made his shoulders slump late at night.

"I did. You know Rachel, if you really don't want to do the show, no one can force you-"

"Mr. Schuester will try" Rachel interjected firmly. "You have to talk to him for me. You two are romantically linked after all. He's going to be crushed when he finds out his star is quitting, I think it would be better coming from you. He always goes dopey and hazy when he's talking to you".

Emma clasped her hand and surveyed her office, searching for an answer that would placate Miss Berry. There was no way she was going home and explaining to Will that she had _let _Rachel walk out on the show just three weeks before opening night. He was already on edge, and she had already called him on it, last night over dinner and this morning while packing his lunch.

"Chocolate chip or oatmeal?" she offered with the zip lock bag already in between her fingers.

He didn't look up from the papers he was grading, the same massive pile he'd been glued to since 5 am. "I don't mind".

Emma fought back a sigh, dropped the bag and walked to him, putting her hands on his shoulders, reading to ease his obvious tension.

"Don't Em, I need to concentrate" he dismissed her with a little shift in his chair.

"Is everything okay Will?"

"I'm just busy. Would you mind driving yourself to work? I have to stop by Hummel's garage on the way and I know you hate the smell of that place". It was true; it made her gag a little.

"Okay. But I'm a little worried, you've barely spoken to me this last day"

"Emma, we're fine. Like I said, I'm busy", he almost grunted as he fiddled with the pen and then scribbled something that looked like an 'F'.

She finished packing his lunchbox and snapped the metal lid more harshly than she needed to.

"Oh, no Miss Pillsbury, he's coming!" Emma saw Will through the glass and Rachel's scampering reaction. She put her fingers against the ridge of her knows. Today it felt like the whole world was going insane.

"Sit down Rachel, I'm going to sort this out." There must have been something in her tone because the student did as she was told and clung to the armrest, staring straight ahead.

"Mr. Schuester" she called, knowing he could hear her from across the hall. His head snapped up, like he knew he'd been caught out. "I need to speak to you for a moment", she gave him a half smile but they both already knew the conversation wouldn't be any fun.

He grimaced, but walked into the room anyway. "Rachel and I need to discuss the production with you. Take a seat"

"Isn't this something you should discuss with the others co-directors?" Gosh, he really didn't want to be near her today. He remained standing and she let him, while Rachel adjusted her hair and uncharacteristically blushed.

"Rachel is a little concerned that there might be something wrong with the show," Emma offered diplomatically, talking with her hands as well.

"No, I'm not, I just don't think it's right for me", Rachel was losing her composure and Emma threw her a sympathetic look. These kids really were pushing themselves too hard.

"Oh, but it is Rachel, that's why the panel cast you" Emma continued, trying to boost Rachel's confidence, something she never imagined doing.

"…I just think…"

"It's the right choice. Everyone knows it," she said turning her gaze from Rachel to look him dead in the eye. He stepped back a little, apparently her frustration had power. "It's just that the show isn't behaving the way she thought it would. And she's getting concerned", Emma explained to Will. It was therapeutic actually, at school he couldn't shrug away, he had to converse with her head on. At last she was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Well,… Rachel, you have relax. The show is fine. I mean… it's busy and things get crazy, but the show is fine. And I think if you relaxed, it would make everything for the show a little easier". Will spoke Rachel's name but all of him was focused on his girlfriend, staring him down and not once fiddling with her green cardigan. She meant business.

"I'm not doing the show Mr. Schuester"

"She's doing the show" Emma dismissed Rachel's interference. Nothing was going to stop her from soothing him, not Rachel and certainly not Will himself. "She's not giving up on the show, ever. But the show needs to listen to her, I mean she's the star after all right?"

"You know what. I'm… the show is too busy to talk about this right now"

"Don't leave Mr. Schuester, we aren't done talking … about the show" Emma shot the words out before he could even turn to leave.

"Ugh! … Please, just drop it! All I care about is …Rachel, and I'll move heaven and earth to make sure she doesn't leave. Don't leave! But I'm human, and I've got a lot going on, and I'm freaking out a little here". His brow wrinkled and he had that look of desperation that always made her stomach ache. Maybe he did just need her understanding and nothing else.

"I'm sorry, Rachel… is sorry. We just… that show is everything…. And when it's not being all it can be, that can be frustrating and scary to a leading lady". Her voice grew familiar and small. She saw Rachel's confusion in the corner of her eye, and then heard it, but it was merely background fodder, everything always was when Will has in the room.

"Ok, neither of you are hearing me. I-"

"Okay, you're right. There is something going on, and I didn't want to tell you like this…", Will slipped his hands in his pockets, a gentle surrender.

"About the show right?"

"Yeah… well, the show really, really is crazy about it's star and so he got it in his head that he wanted… a bigger commitment from the star, you know… the biggest", his nerves her all over his face and especially in his voice.

"Okay"

"But every time he thinks about asking her, he um, gets all these crazy butterflies, because it has to be perfect. I mean, there is a lot of pressure to get this right. The star, my star, has been thinking about this commitment for a really long time, since she was a little girl… and the show is just so full of other things that he wanted to wait".

"Oh"

"But the star… well she's adorably stubborn… and I just love her more than any show should ever… love it's star", his busted out that smile, his biggest weapon and Emma was his, always and forever under his spell.

"Um, I… see" Emma swooned and had to remember to breathe, "Rachel… and I understand. Um, do you think maybe we could discuss this further tonight? …. The show and the leading lady. Um, I could make reservations at Breadstix"

"Are you sure Breadstix is the right place for this conversation? I mean, it might get… passionate"

"I'm sure. See I think what the show is forgetting is that it doesn't really matter, all those little details. It doesn't matter at all. I just want to know that the show needs me, and wants me around". She smiled back at him and already he stood taller, like a thousand weights had been lifted.

"It does. More than anything"

"Okay, then we'll talk about… the show at Breadstix. 7 O'clock"

"Can't wait. Oh, and Rachel? If you want to pull out of the show, I'm not going to stop you, but this could be your time to shine, even brighter than you have before".

He didn't wait for the student's talk back, in fact he left quite quickly. When Rachel finally caught her eye, Emma realised she was literally fanning herself from the heat and glee of the double spoken moment.

"Puck was right. You could tell Mr. Schue you've quit New Directions, stolen his car and joy ridden to LA, and he wouldn't care, not if you were with him" Rachel seemed more alarmed than impressed. "It's crazy, Miss Pillsbury".

"I know Rachel, no one knows that more than me".


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey, just a heads up, this one has pretty strong spoilers for 'Asian F'. Enjoy. _

"If you walk out that door, I'm not coming after you"

She huffed at the irony and let the heavy door slam behind her. He couldn't chase her, not with his arm in a sling and all those painkillers buzzing through him.

Emma stormed down the garden path, deliberately smacking her heels on the concrete. She spied the lavender bush they'd bought together last month, when they were still on summer vacation. Back when he said he could wait to sleep with her, that it didn't matter when it happened, back when she kissed him on the cheek out of gratitude and believed every word he said.

A grunt escaped her lips when she scanned over the perfect purple flowers, and the leaves all grand and colourful, even in the dark, she hated it. She hated it the whole ride across town to her parent's house and all night long, and when she woke up the next morning to Rusty and Rose's well meaning questions and cooling cup of tea on the kitchen countertop, she hated Will for fooling her.

He had put her in a haze from day one, so yesterday when Finn knocked on the glass of her office and said that he'd fallen down, she had to fight her way through the mental fog and only believed it when she tottled into the choir room and saw his arm twisted one way and his body in another. He had smiled shyly and then chewed the sides of his mouth in a bid to hide the pain. Will reminded Emma of herself, desperate, and desperately trying to hide it.

"Will…" she sighed, careful not to say too much, her shaky voice would give it away to the children. It would be too obvious that she was obsessed with him in the most ridiculous way, that she had memorised his tie collection and was secretly giddy he'd picked the periwinkle one today, her favourite.

"Come on, let's get you to the ER, I'll make sure Figgins gets a substitute for the afternoon".

After an our on the cracked vinyl seats of the emergency room, Emma forgot all about the man 10 feet away with a rattling cough that was wet with bacteria. Will intertwined his good hand with hers, she leaned down to kiss his knuckles and looked up in time to see a silver haired lady smiling, no doubt at the way Will's body leaned into hers despite the awkward ice pack balancing on his wrist.

"… I'm glad you're here" he smirked at her. It happened again, that flicker in her belly. It was happening all time in the most unusual places, the grocery store, and the school library. The tiny moments when she was so hungry for his body it made everything too warm. She gasped for air and tried to be discrete.

"Of course"

"Em, can I ask you something?". Of course he could, anything, everything. _Ask me everything just promise you'll let me touch you when we get home._

Emma just nodded and licked her lips. 

"How come you're here with now but on Tuesday you wouldn't-". Reality smacked her hard with questions and reasons and in an instant it was all so clear why she couldn't let herself touch him when they got home. She wasn't ready.

"I didn't need the emergency room on Tuesday. It was just a …. Minor slip up"

"You spent two hours in the shower Emma"

"… And then I was fine, besides I hate hospitals", she countered, as if that explained away the unreasonable angst that has overcome both of them that day.

"Then why are you here now?"

She gave him an incredulous look. Didn't he know that her heart felt like it might beat out of her chest every time he touched her? Didn't wake up every morning and wonder how they ever got out of bed to face the day outside the safety of each other's arms?

He wasn't smiling between his winces anymore, the pragmatic questioning was knotted in his brow. So she bit her lip and then gave him an answer, risky and truthful. In the waiting room with all the disease and fever looming.

"Because one day, we're going to have a family, and I'm going to be a wife… and hopefully a mother and I need to be able to handle these things…. Better than I have been"

Emma found Will's eyes and waited for his face to light up. He'd been coaxing her gently to whisper her feelings to him for weeks. Stealing moments in the schoolyard, with his hand protectively on her back, he had ever so discretely massaged her hipbone and waited for her to admit the terrifying truth, that she was hopeless and in love.

But as the hassled nurse called somebody else's name, Will grimaced and let out a breath, Emma felt he sweat on his palm.

"Is that why you stopped taking your medication? Because you think you're ready?", he stared, not letting her look away. It was naive but she honestly thought it had gone unnoticed, the pills she stopped taking since Sunday night. Emma felt the flush of embarrassment, no matter what she would always be a naïve fool, their relationship counted on it, her mistakes and his compulsion to fix it all with a gentle smile and a forgiving kiss on her cheek.

She sucked in a breath anyway, silently praying that she could explain this with the same wholehearted logic her mother had over the phone.

"I'm not ready Will, you know that. I mean, we haven't… been intimate. But I want to be, so much, and I think it's time I took charge. I can't rely on the medication to fix me. I've got to face my fears head on".

"Ok" she could see he was trying to appear supportive, twisting his thumb delicately over hers. "But what happened on Tuesday… when someone left gum under your desk. That episode you had wouldn't have been so…intense with medication". He was thinking how angry he was when she locked the bathroom door. She had heard it in his voice and tried in vain to block it out with water pressure. Will had sat waiting for two hours, pleading.

She twisted her lips with guilt. It had all seemed so simple on Sunday.

"Will, I was talking with my mother and she made a point that if I'm really going to have a baby with you, if I'm going to marry you, I need to be strong". For years she had imagined introducing Will to the Pillsburys. In her fanciful dreams he laughed at their jokes and chuckled at the portrait of her toddler self cradling the family cat in a pair of polka dotted snow boots. On the drive home he would gush at how wonderful they were and conjure up summer fishing trips with Rusty and how much Rose would love to swap recipes with his own mother.

He let her hand go as a cholicy baby wailed a few seats over. He hated her parents. Not with words. He was too clever for that. With the way he had held her the night they had met, letting her break, expecting nothing else from her, because he'd found the cause of all her pain and they had left in a huff for the Red Oaks.

"You're mother isn't exactly qualified to be giving you advice Emma", his voice was low, it was always more dangerous like that.

"She raised me Will, she knows me better than anyone", she wasn't going to stand down.

"…She doesn't… never mind. We'll talk about this later"

"Say it", she demanded in a level tone, as not to draw attention from their sickly neighbours.

"She doesn't respect you. Look, I know they love you, but… Em, they don't understand what goes on with you… and they don't understand us. We're not in a rush for marriage and children. We can wait". He tried lamely to reach for her hand, but she was quick, ready to wield all her disappointment in to words.

"Can we Will? Because every morning I see you sneak out of bed to go relieve yourself. And I see how you roll your eyes when we've finished cuddling. You don't seem very patient then Will". Good, she'd stunned him so much his mouth hung open.

"Mr…. Schuester. William Schuester?" the nurse sighed. Emma literally bit her tongue and started counting the minutes until they would be home, with no onlookers to censor her words and thoughts.

"I'm not going to drug myself so I'm easier for you to manage!", she yelled while pacing around their bedroom, not even pausing to fold her wardrobe before she stuffed it ungraciously into her overnight bag.

"Yeah? Well I'm not sure I want to be with someone who values the word of some ignorant supremacist over her own doctor and the one person in the world who loves her unconditionally!", he followed her from a distance, letting the words blow him back every few seconds.

"She's my mother Will!"

"And what am I?"

"You're the one that broke my heart and I'm only good enough for you when I'm in therapy. They're not perfect, I know that, but they've never tried to change me!"

"They never tried at all!"

"You don't know anything about it"

And then she walked away, and true to his word, he stayed away.

XXXX

It was picture perfect, a week later when Will pulled into the curb and eyed the two story with the perfectly manicured lawn, the sun hid behind the orange tiled roof and he wondered if it was deliberate. He'd had to steal the file from Figgin's office to get his hands on her details that were now buried in the belly of his glove compartment. He didn't know whether to be grateful or offended when he spied her emergency contacts amongst splays of manila files that outlined Emma's professional history, a review of her job interview and a hand written note explaining her 'extra cautious attitude to fighting bacteria'. He half expected to see his own name listed in the emergency contact column, she told him a thousand times he was _everything_ to her. But maybe she'd just said it once and it was only on repeat in his head.

Still, he ran his hands over his face and counted himself lucky that it was the Pillsburys and their leafy address on those papers, it had got him this far.

After two days of calling in sick and the following three not leaving his classroom, he'd surrendered, even though Emma was so wrong it infuriated him to the point of insomnia, he would cross enemy lines and fight for her. It had seemed like such a noble quest last night with a beer in one hand and the shiny butterfly hair comb she'd left behind in the other.

Rusty wasn't surprised to see him, in fact the old man seemed calm, jovial like he had at dinner. He answered the door in a buttoned up flannel shirt that complimented his hair. He smiled and Will was stabbed with guilt, they were good people, surely they had to be for raising Emma the way she was. But Emma was perfect for the way she endured Rachel's rants and calmed Mercedes anxieties. He shuddered to think what her parents would do in the same situation.

"Let's take a walk", it wasn't a request from Rusty, who shut the door behind him before he got a chance to sneak a glance inside. They only walked to the wooden bench in the garden before the older man stopped, sat and invited Will to do the same with a gently grin.

"I like you Will. Sure, I wish you were a little more copper and you had more to offer than a teacher's salary, but you're a good guy. You know how I know that?", he began without any warning.

"No sir", Will couldn't help but feel like a chastised freshman that got caught smoking on the football field.

"Because Emma picked you. She broke up her own good marriage for you. You see, Emma never wanted anything growing up. I used to prey to God that she'd show some interest in sports or music or even boys. But my little girl, she only cared about keeping clean. Rose and I didn't understand it, so we let her be. And I know that might seem strange, but we were terrified of pushing her away…", Rusty's gaze slipped to his hand that prodded the seat idly. It was exactly the way Emma had told him about her annulment, shyly, regretfully and with so much pain.

He continued softly with the quiet strength he had past on to Emma.

"And she grew into this magnificent young women and we're so proud, I know you can't understand that, but Emma is my baby and she doesn't make choices easily. So if she chose you Will, then I trust her."

"Thanks Mr. Pillsbury". Will nodded to him and lifted his plastered arm that was extra heavy after the long drive across town.

"But if you ever make her cry again like I've seen this past week Will,… I know people who wouldn't think twice about ruffling those dark hairs on your head. Now get on in there and fix it."

XXXXX

He met her in the garden, she wore a purple sundress and insisted on driving them both a café on the main street. "We won't have any privacy here", she'd said, studying the white weight on his forearm.

She ordered him coffee and her tea and as she nursed the hot cup gently in her delicate hands, blowing softly through her lips to cool it all down, Will knew he would do anything to make her smile again.

"You're so pretty. I don't tell you that enough". She looked so young and wide eyed in that small moment before she composed herself.

"That's not what we're talking about here…"

"You are gorgeous and I'm not going to lie, I want to sleep with you, so bad. And it's hard to share a bed with someone so sexy and not be able to touch them-"

"Please don't make me feel guilty", though he knew she already did. They'd talked about it in their joint session with Dr. Shane a few weeks back.

"I want to have sex with you, and I want to do things to you that you can't even imagine. I'm not going to apologize for that. But I'm waiting…". He grabbed her hand across the table without thinking, and slowly, she put her fingers through his, reuniting them.

"How long are you really willing to wait? A week? A year? I don't have a timeline for this". It wasn't a complaint or a threat, she was being real with him, and a gift he'd been wishing for.

"My body can wait, that's what my secret box is for right?". He made a joke and she smiled and let out a breath, rubbing her thumb over his.

"What about the rest of it, Will?"

"… Remember after sectionals that first year when I kissed you?"

She nodded and he smiled. He was in love with that moment.

"You kissed me back. And that's what I think about when I get frustrated. It's what I kept remembering after I screwed up with Shelby and you married Carl, I just kept convincing myself that none of that mattered. You kissed me back that day, and I know you can't admit it yet, but you love me".

He watched tears rise in her eyes, her teeth grabbing at her lip.

"Em, we've been committed to each other ever since. The wedding will happen when you're ready but we're already in this. I mean why else would you put up with such a jerk for a boyfriend unless you'd already made a promise?"

"You weren't a jerk..."

"Yes I was. You're parents are good people, and I might have been somewhat overprotective-", he gripped her hand tighter, needing more.

"I'm taking my medication…" he knew it was her apology, her admission that his fierce caring had been right. "I worry sometimes that you have to go through this too. I hate that you have to suffer while I get better."

"Yeah, but you put up with my quirks too"

She pushed the tea away and studied his fingers with both hands. Will knew she was searching for an answer, maybe through counting the lines on his index finger over and over again as if it were her religion.

"….I know you hate it when I don't empty my lunch box at the end of the day…."

She laughed out loud.

"And I always want to watch those talent shows on TV when I know they bore you…. And I have baggage too..."

"But I kissed you back…I'll always kiss you back, Will."


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviews and leaves messages and all those good things. It's very motivational. This chapter is again rated M. It's just how I'm rolling these days. Please enjoy at your own discretion. FP._

The light dimmed in the bedroom. Will was blowing out one of the two candles she'd lit on the nightstand, and then the other. He was cleaning up the evidence, smoothing over the covers and switching the television on, a different glow. It felt familiar to Emma from her vantage point in front of the en suite mirror.

Familiar was good. _1, 2, 3,4…._

_Take deeps breaths in and out, _she could hear Dr Shane in her head, _and then you need to close your eyes, and get rid of all your unhelpful thoughts, the ones that cause you the worst anxiety. _

When she opened them again, Emma was the same. Wrapped in the same silk robe with the ruffled bottom. Will was the same too, she could hear him clearing his throat in the next room.

_Oh God, I'm making him wait, again! I'm hopeless. _An unhelpful thought.

_I never knew he could be that passionate. _A helpful thought.

She replayed it all. Well, some parts she couldn't remember. She wasn't sure if he'd kissed her before he untied her robe and gulped. But Emma remembered the candles were vanilla scented and sort of smelt like cookies.

"It's so delicious in here", Will had whispered, his mouth so close to her belly button. He laughed and she almost forgot this was her first time, there was no going back.

It was nice and a little bit painful.

"Em, I'm going to move now, Ok beautiful?... Relax", he had one hand tangled in her hair and in the robe which still covered her at the shoulders.

She really had tried. To relax, the work with him, and it felt good. But he had buried his head in her neck trembling and not quite staying there long enough. "I love you" he was husky as he rolled on his side, all the tension gone from him.

_I should have told him I loved him too instead of just running to the bathroom. _Another unhelpful thought.

Emma blinked. Confirmed there were seven rose covered tiles above the sink and went to him, because one day she'll want to do that again, to see his face move that way.

Will was cross legged with his hands on his lap. The bed underneath him spotless, as if nothing had happened.

"I'm…" she begun but chocked. There wasn't answer to her problem, there was no problem. She had Will Schuester in her bed, he had just given himself to her with a husky laugh and a crinkled up nose. Emma sat down beside him with her legs out stretched, desperate to look casual.

She wanted him to run his hand up her leg, she wanted a second chance to live up to the challenge. He had moaned and shivered and sighed "Oh my God!", but she wanted him to have more, surely there was more.

"…Don't go shy on me now… I know what's under that robe" he joked with that cocky grin. He always joked when he didn't know what else to do, he couldn't hold her now. Clearly she was so stiff and biting her lip. Will kept his lips pursed and waited for it all to tumble.

It always did, in the most terrifying, liberating way, she would eventually spill her thoughts to him, her fears. She had done since that fall when she'd cornered him in the Faculty lounge with Sue lurking in the wings.

She tucked a hair behind her ear that didn't need fixing.

He couldn't believe he'd just felt Emma Pillsbury in the most intimate way. Will smothered a smile, when she coughed so adorably. She was glowing. Nothing could ever look this exquisite.

"We're going to get married, right? I mean, I get to be with you forever… right?", when she blinked her eyelids shook. Will head and stomach all lurched at the same time. Last week she had promised she was ready.

"I…um, I thought it might be nice if I…" she had spoken with hush tones, and gripped the steering wheel, smirking a little as they drove to school that crisp morning.

"If what?" he had played along.

"Well, I've been doing a bit of research on… pleasure, and I'm not a prude Will, I think it might be fun if you let me… you know… help you out…," she coughed, "with my mouth."

He stared ahead, then at the trees as they zoomed by, all his blood rushing to that one spot. He thought about it a lot, too much. His minxy little red head with her head and hands below his belt.

_Yes! _"No, Emma"

"What? Why?"

"Well…. Because…" she shifted gears and his argument almost fell apart. "It's… you need to know the best parts of sex first, before you can really take care of me… like that. Not that I don't want that, because God, I really, really do…"

"… I'm ready for that then, the real thing. Dr. Shane has been great and I'm so happy with you…"

And with that they began planning. Emma planned the bed sheets, colour coordinated the condoms and downloaded a playlist. Will sat in his office in his spare period and mentally mapped out every possible scenario; what he would say, how he would make her comfortable, or deal with himself if it all got too much.

He did his best, he really did. But then he was inside her and heard her breath hitch and he couldn't think of anything except how to make it all last forever.

Emma twisted and bunched her robe.

"Is that what you want, Em? Do you want to marry me?"

"No, don't do that question thing now. I'm just… it's all a lot. I need you to take control for a minute, Ok Will?". She had never put it that plainly before, but she implied it often, and so did he. Their budding romance was one of passion and strict equality. But they were each with their flaws, and each with their moments of despair, when they relied on each other to pick up the pieces.

He took her hand away from it's angry fidgeting and granted her wish.

"Yes, we're going to get married, okay? In Virginia and your brother will be in the wedding party because I know you'd worry about keeping him close. We'll do a lot of dancing….and… we'll honeymoon in Vermont… in winter…alright?... We'll get married and be husband and wife and get old and grey". He let the security of this story soothe. That was all she needed, confirmation that this vulnerability was worth it.

She faced him, bewildered. Magical words just floated out of his mouth, effortlessly.

Emma wiped her tears. "I know I'm being stupid, but I wanted to be better at that," she winced, feeling a shudder of ridiculousness.

"Hey, it's okay to feel that way". It wasn't, not according to the rules of her therapy. "I wanted to make it perfect for you too. But it was the first time, trust me, it gets better… and you were… amazing". He stretched out his legs to match hers, everything about him was so strong.

"I do trust you" she smiled back at him, because she really wanted to beg his forgivness for something she didn't understand, she wanted to climb on top of him like they did in the movies while he groped her hungrily. But those thoughts were useless, because she was so inexperienced and he was so careful.

"Will you do something for me then?" he knocked his knee playfully against hers, issuing a challenge. Emma nodded in acceptance.

"I want you to lie down on the pillow", she did with suspicion and anxiety bubbling in her stomach.

He laid down too, covering her with his weight, his lips on her ear. Everything was warm and clear. "I love the feel of you" she whispered, but he already knew. Their belly buttons grazed against one another.

It was all so steady.

"Emma?", and then it wasn't.

"Hmmm?"

"I'm going to undo your robe again,"

_It won't hurt as much this time. _Finally a natural thought to make Dr Shane proud.

"I'm going to put my tongue on you. I'll be as gentle as you want… and I'm not going to stop until you come, okay?"

"…please I don't-"

Will gripped her hip. "Let me. You need to let go and I need to be the one to help you."

She did that for him, and for her. And later he let her wash his hair while he kissed her chest and made her jerk.

_1,2…_ The number of love bites on his neck.

_Oh God, I want him to do that to me. _Another helpful thought.


End file.
